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    January 22

    康熙抢走了曲院的麦克风

    康熙抢走了曲院的麦克风
    曲院风荷,湖上
     
        曲院不是听小曲的地方。曲院原是南宋朝廷酿制官酒的作坊,所以当时写作“麯院”。除了麦曲,荷花也成为宋朝廷酿酒的道具。“麯院”种植了许多荷花,盛夏的荷风一旦遇见酒香,就像干柴碰到烈火,很容易就有了“暖风薰得游人醉”的效果。
        南宋宫廷画师马远为此作了一幅画,题为“麯院荷风”。400多年后,喜欢写别字的康熙皇帝在勒石立碑时把“麯院荷风”题成了“曲院风荷”。值得玩味的是,康熙把藏在“麯院荷风”中的“麦”字给删了。为什么?因为“麦”字与“风”字是相克的,不是有一个词就叫“麦克风”嘛。
        沦陷在拉卡OK厅里的人们,习惯把泊来词“麦克风”亲切地昵称为“麦”。比如“麦霸”一词,指的就是那些霸占着麦克风不放的狂热分子。形似男根的“麦”,受到无数“K歌之王”的钟爱,时常被她们握在手中无意识地把玩。
    但是,自以为是的康熙却把“麯院”中的“麦”给阉掉了,只剩下一湖的荷花,寂静地开着。她们遥想着鞭长莫及的保俶塔,流露出不胜凉风的娇羞。
        从此,曲院便与“麦”彻底绝了缘。在曲院风荷附近,很早就开了一家肯德基,却至今不见“麦”当劳的店影。虽然大导演张艺谋在曲院风荷搭建了“印象•西湖”的演艺舞台,但无论是大歌星“麦”当娜,还是小艳星“麦”家琪,都绝无可能被邀请前来的。
        对于不怎么识字的浙江总督李卫来说,曲院或许就是听小曲的地方。据清嘉庆进士梁章钜《楹联丛话》载,李卫在这里造了座花神庙,然后依照自己的模样塑了一尊“湖山正神”,依照妻妾们的模样塑了“十二月花神”,而且个个都是“钗飞钿舞,尽态极妍”。李卫的私家蜡像馆,在咸丰末年太平天国的兵燹中几近销毁。那些冒牌的花神们,不知道有没有成为太平军的“充气娃娃”?
        到了光绪年间,杭州知府林启把残破的花神庙改为蚕学馆。蚕学馆几经嬗变,成了现在的浙江理工大学。大学生们最清楚,“麦”字与“风”字是相克的,但是他们并不知道300多年前的一个春天,有一位老人在中国的西湖边,试了一下“麦克风”的特权。
     

    Comments (3)

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    scarlet chowwrote:
    偶一直觉得保叔塔应该是阴性地~~~(中间那个自我打不出来)
     
    别看它的名字里面也有一个“叔”字
     
    雷峰塔才应该是西湖旁边唯一阳气比较足地~~
     
    好歹压了那么多年的白蛇精
     
    再看看在wgp领导下新盖的那个粗壮~~~那个金光闪闪~~
     
     
    24 Jan.
    OEC OECwrote:
    有见识,增淫思,与枕边人共读之,胜春宫者多矣
    22 Jan.
    amoswrote:
    “麦 克 风”, 哈哈,亏你想得出来。
    不过曲院风荷感觉是没料了点噢
     
    22 Jan.

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